Let's talk about Emotions!

"I am not merry, but I do beguile the thing I am by seeming otherwise" ~ Desdemona to Iago. 'Othello' (1602-4) act 2, sc. 1, l. 122.

I remember the first time my friend and life coach asked me to describe how I was feeling at that particular moment, and I couldn’t. It wasn’t for the lack of words, but for a very different reason – I was so immersed in my thoughts that I couldn't differentiate between feelings and thoughts!

It took me some time, and several therapy sessions, to reconnect with my feelings and develop a better awareness of my emotions.

So, What Is the Nature of Emotions?

Emotions are how our body decides to respond to a stimulus, with the sole purpose of preserving our existence, aka, keeping us safe. They are biologically driven and universal, which means all living organisms experience them.

To give an example, the fear you feel when spotting a snake is an emotion that primes you for a quick reaction. A monkey would run away from fire due to the same emotion that surges through you when you see a fire near you. Emotions like fear, love, and anger have evolved over the years, serving functions that range from immediate survival to social interaction and group dynamics.

While emotions are biological states, feelings are the subjective experience of these emotions. They are deeply personal and influenced by individual temperament and past experiences. For example, while everyone might experience the emotion of sadness in response to loss, how they feel and respond to this sadness can differ remarkably. Some might feel overwhelmed and withdrawn, others might experience a poignant sense of reflection and connection to others.

Reflecting back on my experience with my friend, when I was unable to differentiate my thoughts from my feelings, she introduced me to some basic grounding techniques; these are meant to bring your focus to the here and now and clarify things in one’s mind.

My favorite grounding technique is a breathing exercise, where I inhale deeply and slowly, and exhale deeply and slowly, for at least five times until I am present again.

Other grounding techniques include the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, where you identify 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.

Then, while asking me how I felt, she prompted me to scan my body for any physical sensations, like tightness in my chest or a choking sensation in my throat. These sensations are mainly associated with negative feelings such as sadness or feeling overwhelmed.

Let’s Explore Together

Let’s look together at the wheel of emotions below, and tell me in the comments how do you feel?